Families are like fudge

Thursday, April 3, 2008

Anyone want some kids? They're going cheap.

So let me preface this by saying that I adore my children. They are my world.

But good lord some days they drive me INSANE. You're about to enter a super-exciting day in my life.

7:25 am
Me: "Eli, it's time to get up."
Eli: (all teary) "I'm too tired to go to school."
Me: "I'm tired to but we all have to do things we don't want to do. Get up."
Me: "Grant, it's time to get up. If you don't hurry and get dressed you won't have time for breakfast." sidebar: this is an ongoing issue for him.
They both get up. Eli is dressed, shoes on, picking his cereal. Where is Grant? you might ask. Sitting on the floor, still in jammies, next to his clothes for school. ARGH.
Grant: "I'm too TIRED to get dressed."
Me: "Well maybe if you'd go right to sleep at bedtime instead of goofing around all night you wouldn't be tired. I have no sympathy. Get dressed."

9:00 am
Ryan: "Mom, can I pick a movie"
Me: "sure. What do you want to watch?"
Ryan: "Star Wars."
Me: "No Star Wars this early in the morning." He then throws himself on the ground in agony and defeat.
Tiana: "Can I pick a movie?"
Ryan (screaming): "NO TIANA IT'S MY TURN TO PICK"
Tiana: "NO IT'S MY TURN!"
Ryan: "NO IT'S NOT!"
Tiana: "losuh" (loser for those who don't know 3 year old speak) Ryan raises his fist in a threat of violence.

ARGH

12:50 pm

Grant is home from school. The kids are watching Blue's Clues.
Me: "As soon as the show is over it's nap time."
All: "Ok"

1:00 pm
Me: "Ok, time for bed."
(in unison)
Grant: "Can't we just watch one more show?"
Ryan: throws himself to the ground with moan and a pout
Tiana: runs away saying "I don't wanna go to bed!"

I'm not even going to discuss naptime.

4:00 pm Grant walks out of the room.
Me: "What are you doing?"
Grant: throws himself to the ground and starts crying "I need to go peeeeeeeeee"
Me: "Get up and stop crying. You know you don't need to ask to go to the bathroom."
Grant goes pee then goes back to bed. A few minutes later he comes out.
Grant in his most whiny of voices: "Mommmeeeeee, can I get up now?"
Me: "Whiny boys have to stay in bed. If you're done whining you can get up."
Grant: throws his head back, starts to cry, slams the door, kicks the dresser, throws himself on his bed, hits his pillow, throws something, and bursts into tears.
Ryan & Tiana both get up. A few minutes later Grant comes out.
Grant: "mom can I get up nooooow?"
Me: "I never said you had to go to bed. I said whiny boys have to stay in bed, so if you're done with your whining, you're more than welcome to get up."
Grant: throws his head back storms back into his room crying "I have to stay in bed ALL DAY!"
Me: "Who said you have to stay in bed all day?"
Grant: "YOU DID!"

ARGH

4:30 pm
Eli: "Mom, can I play the xbox or the wii?"
Me: "No, it's a school day."
Eli: "but moooom, I don't know what to do."
Me: "Me either. Figure something out."
Eli: "But I don't know what to do."
Me: "Go play outside."
Eli: "we ALWAYS play outside." (so not true)
Me: "Fine, don't play outside. Go find some toys."
Eli: "But I don't know what to play with. I just want to play the xbox."
Me: "Well, you might as well get that out of your head right now because it isn't gonna happen."
His eyes well with tears.
Eli: "This is such a horrible day."
Me: "Awww, since you're having such a bad day I guess you should go take a nap then."
Eli: "No."
Me: "Then I guess we better stop having a bad attitude, huh."
He sat there pouting for a good 20 minutes before he finally went outside.

ARGH

7:30 pm - dinner
we're just about done.
Me: "Grant, you need to finish your last few bites then you can be done."
Grant: "But mom it's cold and it tastes gross."
Me: "If you hadn't taken so long to eat it, it wouldn't have gotten cold." (we're talking like 3 peanut-sized bites here)
Grant: "But mom...." and here's where I tune him out. No clue what he went on about.
Me: "It's not up for discussion. Finish your food then you can be done."
Grant: "but mom...." waah-waah-wa-wa-waah (think Charlie Brown's teacher)
Me: "Not another word."

ARGH

Here it is right now - 10:33 pm. Bedtime is 8:00. Ryan just came out saying that he pulled some skin off of his finger (he's still awake - hasn't been to sleep yet). You'll be fine, get back in bed and don't get up again. Grant came out about 10 minutes ago to tell me he was hot under his covers. Fine, then don't put your covers on! Tiana sang and played until at least 9:30. At least Eli crashes without a problem.

And people wonder why I stay up so late. It's not quiet around here until 10:30 at night!

Good grief.

posted by Karah at 10:09 PM -

4 Comments:

At April 4, 2008 9:01 AM, Natalie said…

My friend Sarah would love this. She just blogged about walking through the grocery store with her 4 year old dressed up like Snow White.

I loved the time line and oh the frustration!!! I don't want to get out of bed, I don't want to go to bed... life is made up of some good material.
At April 4, 2008 9:02 PM, Kim K said…

All I can say is "Wow." This sounds like the day I had with the kids last week when they spend all of naptime popping up like so many prairie dogs. Let's just say that I got zippo done that day! LOL.

You know I love you! And as much as I feel your pain, I am so glad you didn't call for Grandma today! :o)
At April 9, 2008 11:38 AM, Dana said…

Karah!!! While I am laughing at this post, I feel sooo bad for you as well! But, OMG...your kids are so dang cute!!! :)

Since Mia started school two days a week a few months ago, she has managed to bring temper tantrums home with her every Tuesday and Thursday evening...and some weekends. ARGH!

BTW, I didn't realize you have a blog?!? FUN...I'll add you to my blogroll. There...much better! ;o)
At April 17, 2008 9:30 AM, Jennifer said…

SOunds like the conversations that the fly on our wall heres everyday